[He looks like "oh" and sort of sits there a moment, considering. The frustrated, knotted uncertainty smooths out maybe a little.]

I was... [The feelings tangle again, but not in the same way.] It's... complicated. It was complicated, Ryo.

I know it wasn't you, but there were things... I had to think about first. So I had to pretend because... you didn't know what I did.