[ akira might feel bad about it but it is, really, what ryo wants. he spent weeks unsure if akira hated him; and then a brief period where he thought that maybe he loved him back in the way he wanted, and then he never really felt sure about anything ever since.
a part of him had been hoping akira would have told him not to do it as soon as ryo brought it up. it was just another way to self-harm, he supposes, because akira has given up on arguing with him a long time ago. which is also ryo's fault for never budging.
he holds onto akira more tightly and sobs. ]
I won't. I'm sorry, I won't. [ his voice cracks ] Please be happy.
[ he tries to think if he ever gave akira that, at least. any small measure of happiness and he isn't sure, actually. it just makes him cry harder. ]
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a part of him had been hoping akira would have told him not to do it as soon as ryo brought it up. it was just another way to self-harm, he supposes, because akira has given up on arguing with him a long time ago. which is also ryo's fault for never budging.
he holds onto akira more tightly and sobs. ]
I won't. I'm sorry, I won't. [ his voice cracks ] Please be happy.
[ he tries to think if he ever gave akira that, at least. any small measure of happiness and he isn't sure, actually. it just makes him cry harder. ]