kaworu

[preordain]

gay angel imagery

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week 0, sunday

[preordain]

[ hello kaworu.

ryo is sitting down somewhere, and his cat is running around in circles at his feet. when jd spots kaworu, he skedaddles towards him... awkwardly like kittens do when they are bad at going fast but try nonetheless. ]

[peripheries]

[Oh. JD makes him smile a little despite everything. It's been awhile since he's seen the little guy. Kaworu sits down in order to receive this little ball of inertia.]

Look at his little run. It's funny.

[preordain]

He's not sure how to use his body.

[ he is so small... so useless... and happily sniffing at kaworu. ]

[peripheries]

He really is a baby who can't do anything, huh?

[Why is it so lame and yet adorable??? Letting the little guy sniff his fingers fingers.]

[preordain]

Mm. He was even smaller when Akira initially got him.

[ the most pathetic mop of a kitten... ]

[peripheries]

Is Akira the one you're watching him for?

[Trying to imagine this kitten even smaller??? Howmst?]

[preordain]

He is. I think he would have gotten along with a lot of people here.

[ he's also stupid... like so many here... ]

[peripheries]

But if he were here, he'd have to deal with everything else.

[He gets it. You miss people you care for but wanting them by your side means you subject them to everything.]

[preordain]

Mm. He did not handle it well.

[ all of the superhell people here are like, 'yeah hell was great'

akira would not say that. ]

week 1, saturday

[preordain]

[ hi kaworu.

ryo is walking, and he pauses when he sees him. ]

Are you satisfied with the results?

[peripheries]

I don't know.

[He thinks she did it. But that feels like garbage. He doesn't really want to say what he says next but if he doesn't it will eat him alive.]

I'm sorry... I didn't want it to be Weesh. So I think I decided to believe that it was probably was you instead.

[preordain]

That's fine. I don't really care if people suspect me or not, I know I'm suspicious.

[ that's just how it is, really. ]

[peripheries]

[That's honestly pretty cool man.]

Well, at least you're aware. ...Isn't it tiresome?

[preordain]

[ he considers the question. ]

Maybe before. Not anymore though.

[peripheries]

...How did you stop caring? I used to not care at all. Now I realize I care too much.

[preordain]

I think that's the normal reaction to interacting with people, usually. They get under your skin.

[ for better or for worse. ]

To be blunt, I lost someone important to me and things don't quite matter as much anymore.

[peripheries]

[Yeah they do. Some for the better and some for the worse. He ending up sticking with the better.]

...I understand what you mean. It's only just happened but I wonder if that will happen to me.

[preordain]

Maybe if enough time passed, but we at least have the luxury of knowing that the ones who die are still... somewhere.

[ a pause and he looks around, like he's wondering if they're being watched by graveyard tv. ]

So it may not be as much time to be drastic.

[peripheries]

I always wonder if they're lying to us though. We have no way of knowing and we just have to believe their word.

[Well, let them watch. Who cares.]

...Do you prefer it?

[preordain]

I'm trying to figure that out. But it does make this easier.

[ he gestures around them. ]

It's easy to go through the day to day.

[peripheries]

Sometimes I think easier is the right choice. What do you really lose in the end?

[preordain]

I suppose that depends on how important your 'self' is.

[ that answer will always vary, per person. ]

Were you not close to the other people here from Heaven?

[peripheries]

No. I don't really know them at all.

[preordain]

[ he just nods. ]

Do you want to?

[peripheries]

[No need to reply I just realized I lost... this...]

...It would be nice to have other people to talk to about Heaven, I guess.