[ he's gonna be honest, it was way better when they were just talking about the world ending or whatever
this, though? this is a topic that is way out of ryo's usual scope. the only times he has ever really experienced feelings, real positive or even negative feelings, are with akira. ryo realizes that there are certain things about him that may be even more warped than they already are if akira wasn't the one who found him that day. ]
... all I knew was that what was happening would change everything. And I wanted you with me. I don't care what vices you have, or that there was a girl, I just wanted you there.
[ ryo never said anything because he didn't know. but even if he did, it didn't matter, since he never would have the expectations that they would be lovers.
a part of him knew the end of the world would come, so he subconsciously made sure akira would be strong enough to live through that. so they can continue to be together. it just turns out he was too blind to realize that wasn't what akira also wanted. ]
[His expression softens slightly, and then his mouth closes into a small line. The start of a frown, but not quite there.]
Ryo...
[In hindsight, it makes him feel like an idiot. To think he never... saw? Considered? The fact he was ignorant to how deep the obsession ran, how it happened to be twisted. He was too busy looking at... life. At a stand-in family, at a girl. At running track to make up for the distance between him and his parents. Normal, ordinary things. Simple things.]
Does any of it ever matter anymore, Ryo? Earth, the demons, the humans. If you go back... it'll all be destroyed anyway. If you make me Devilman, I will fight you. So does it matter? Going back. I'm here. You're here. You said that's what you wanted.
well. he also wants to kill humans and now he also wants to fight god. there are also some very important wants. but... it sounds like he did get one of those things, technically, even if he personally didn't experience it.
ryo still isn't sure if god isn't going to show up here just to smite him. ]
It is what I want. [ ... ] Are you still going to leave?
[ most of their conversations aren't resolved. it might be because they tend to keep cycling back to one that might be impossible to have a resolution.
he looks down at the bike, at the seat he was on not too long ago. ]
... I think I'll walk. You can have a break from me.
[ now that things have calmed down a bit, ryo is realizing this is actually very embarrassing for him. ]
[He opens his mouth, then shuts it. He doesn't want to fight and argue; he's tired. He doesn't want to agree or disagree. He doesn't want Ryo to think he's glad, but he also doesn't want them to get into it again on the way.]
Okay.
[He looks like he wants to add something placating, but doesn't.]
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no subject
this, though? this is a topic that is way out of ryo's usual scope. the only times he has ever really experienced feelings, real positive or even negative feelings, are with akira. ryo realizes that there are certain things about him that may be even more warped than they already are if akira wasn't the one who found him that day. ]
... all I knew was that what was happening would change everything. And I wanted you with me. I don't care what vices you have, or that there was a girl, I just wanted you there.
[ ryo never said anything because he didn't know. but even if he did, it didn't matter, since he never would have the expectations that they would be lovers.
a part of him knew the end of the world would come, so he subconsciously made sure akira would be strong enough to live through that. so they can continue to be together. it just turns out he was too blind to realize that wasn't what akira also wanted. ]
no subject
[His expression softens slightly, and then his mouth closes into a small line. The start of a frown, but not quite there.]
Ryo...
[In hindsight, it makes him feel like an idiot. To think he never... saw? Considered? The fact he was ignorant to how deep the obsession ran, how it happened to be twisted. He was too busy looking at... life. At a stand-in family, at a girl. At running track to make up for the distance between him and his parents. Normal, ordinary things. Simple things.]
Does any of it ever matter anymore, Ryo? Earth, the demons, the humans. If you go back... it'll all be destroyed anyway. If you make me Devilman, I will fight you. So does it matter? Going back. I'm here. You're here. You said that's what you wanted.
no subject
well. he also wants to kill humans and now he also wants to fight god. there are also some very important wants. but... it sounds like he did get one of those things, technically, even if he personally didn't experience it.
ryo still isn't sure if god isn't going to show up here just to smite him. ]
It is what I want. [ ... ] Are you still going to leave?
no subject
He glances in the direction they came before looking again At Ryo. His weight with the bike shifts slightly.]
...Do you want me to drive you back?
no subject
he looks down at the bike, at the seat he was on not too long ago. ]
... I think I'll walk. You can have a break from me.
[ now that things have calmed down a bit, ryo is realizing this is actually very embarrassing for him. ]
no subject
Okay.
[He looks like he wants to add something placating, but doesn't.]
no subject
he pauses, just to give akira a quick look, before continuing on. embarrassing. ]