[ ah. is it possible to be jealous of yourself?? things that they are now forced to think about.
it's difficult, though. ryo wonders if things might turn out okay for his other akira if he doesn't return. demons have already been revealed to everyone, but if ryo isn't actually there, would it end the same?
what would that akira do, by himself?
he hugs him a little tighter. ]
... you're the only you that I've had these moments with. There's no replacing you.
[REPLACED! JAIL! JAIL FOR RYO FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!]
It's up to you now, Ryo.
[He pulls back on Ryo's arms, leaning away, so he can look Ryo in the face.]
You won't be able to have both. Me and the demons. Because the demons will follow their instincts, and they'll kill the humans. And the humans will be scared of them and kill each other. And if the demons are out there, the humans will kill Miki's parents, and Miki, and Miko, and the rest. And if they kill them, I'll turn my back on you.
[ he really doesn't think it's fair, since the demons were there first. it's always humans encroaching on others and then acting surprised when their bloody expansion has consequences for themselves.
ryo doesn't say this out loud. he knows it won't go well. ]
You really are unfair. [ there's no heat to the words, just an idle comment as he thinks akira's words over. ] I wonder if there was ever a chance for them all to co-exist.
[ he doesn't think so. even if things were going well, ryo is pretty sure god would have intervened. ]
No matter what I wouldn't want to abandon them. I'd have to figure something out.
[It never dawned on him before, but it's in this moment he understands Ryo is always going to fail. And now he realizes why. Because Ryo can't let go of the demons.
He's not sure if he wants to tell Ryo this; he thinks Ryo will get angry with him. So he doesn't say it. Maybe he should. He just doesn't believe he can convince Ryo otherwise with anything he says at all.]
If it's possible for you to go somewhere else then, are you going to do it?
[ he never actually said for sure. just that he'd miss ryo in that case, which is something that gives him a warm feeling that isn't something he's used to. ]
He wonders what Ryo could possible have to think about when it's clear Ryo is going to try going back, and he's going to stay here because he has nothing to return to at all.]
[He wraps his arms around Ryo's shoulders finally, returning the hug, squeezing Ryo to himself. He can't even beg God to watch over his friend like Eiji because God is who hates his friend deeply for acting out.]
There can't be two Akiras.
[This is just setting Ryo greedily up for something that is not only dangerous but extremely kinky.]
[ he'll move back, just so he can dig out his phone and scroll through it. whenever he finds what he was looking for, he holds the phone out for akira to see.
[There’s a pause as it registers what he’s looking at.
Then he does the anime thing where it hits him, he starts dramatically, and then he shoves both fists into his crotch and hunches over because his body instantly becomes horny against his will.
[UGH WHY!!! He hangs his head in defeat against the dark tyranny of lust. Why must his body be so easily aroused while his mind has really gone through it this week with the debate of boy Ryo and girl Ryo and Ryo in general.]
[ honestly, ryo wanted it to be derailed because they were talking too much about feelings and it was starting to make him sweaty. horny is safer than their uncertain future together.
he just smiles. ]
Just making sure. Feel free to take care of yourself, it's only the two of us here.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ he walks another step, and then once he's close enough, ryo wraps his arms around him for a hug. ]
We were meant to be together.
[ he doesn't mean romantically. just... together. ]
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But we won't be. Not me and you. It'll be you and him.
[This week is so rough on his psyche.]
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it's difficult, though. ryo wonders if things might turn out okay for his other akira if he doesn't return. demons have already been revealed to everyone, but if ryo isn't actually there, would it end the same?
what would that akira do, by himself?
he hugs him a little tighter. ]
... you're the only you that I've had these moments with. There's no replacing you.
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It's up to you now, Ryo.
[He pulls back on Ryo's arms, leaning away, so he can look Ryo in the face.]
You won't be able to have both. Me and the demons. Because the demons will follow their instincts, and they'll kill the humans. And the humans will be scared of them and kill each other. And if the demons are out there, the humans will kill Miki's parents, and Miki, and Miko, and the rest. And if they kill them, I'll turn my back on you.
So how are you going to fix it?
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ryo doesn't say this out loud. he knows it won't go well. ]
You really are unfair. [ there's no heat to the words, just an idle comment as he thinks akira's words over. ] I wonder if there was ever a chance for them all to co-exist.
[ he doesn't think so. even if things were going well, ryo is pretty sure god would have intervened. ]
No matter what I wouldn't want to abandon them. I'd have to figure something out.
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He's not sure if he wants to tell Ryo this; he thinks Ryo will get angry with him. So he doesn't say it. Maybe he should. He just doesn't believe he can convince Ryo otherwise with anything he says at all.]
Good luck, Ryo.
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[ he never actually said for sure. just that he'd miss ryo in that case, which is something that gives him a warm feeling that isn't something he's used to. ]
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I don't know yet. It... depends where. I'll still be Devilman.
[So he has to think about other people, unlike someone else standing in this room who will remain nameless.]
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but ryo just nods slowly. ]
... right. Well, we still have a few weeks to think about this.
[ it doesn't really seem like enough time though, but at least it's something.
he hugs akira again, burying his face in his shoulder for a second. ]
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He wonders what Ryo could possible have to think about when it's clear Ryo is going to try going back, and he's going to stay here because he has nothing to return to at all.]
Are you going to say goodbye to me before you go?
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[ he'll admit to that, and then consider what to say next. ]
But I'll want to see you.
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There can't be two Akiras.
[This is just setting Ryo greedily up for something that is not only dangerous but extremely kinky.]
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I guess not. But I can be selfish, since that sounds pretty nice.
[ it would be nice if there was an easy answer to this. and he's sure from someone else's point of view, there is, but... ]
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Don’t just admit to being selfish when you’re already selfish.]
At least pretend you don’t think that’s true, Ryo.
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Oh. I have something for you actually, but texting isn't working right now...
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Something for me…? What is it?
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it's just a nude of girl him. ]
In case you need it later.
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Then he does the anime thing where it hits him, he starts dramatically, and then he shoves both fists into his crotch and hunches over because his body instantly becomes horny against his will.
His face flushes.]
RYO!
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[ he repockets his phone, very casually like that didn't just happen. ]
Consider it a thank you gift for being a friend.
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You really took that…
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[ he is so kind and thoughtful..... ]
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While I was nearby?!
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No…
[Why does horniness win.]
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he just smiles. ]
Just making sure. Feel free to take care of yourself, it's only the two of us here.
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