[ ryo doesn't think they need to make anything right but he'll keep that to himself!! it's fine!! "please stop being an asshole about ending the world" no
well, none of this information is too surprising. it also makes sense that akira might want to try being a personal demon, even if the idea seems exhausting. ]
Okay. [ he doesn't say what his opinion on that is. just okay. ] Next-- I would like for you to formally reject my confession. We need to get that out of the way before anything else.
[he's already been a personal demon you little bitch you manipulated him into working for your goals what's trading one satan for another one
His brows furrow. The conundrum is he's never had any opportunity to try things differently with Ryo. But, also, being here, being around other people more closely, has made him think about... all the things Ryo doesn't give him, the way Ryo treats him. And he thinks about those right now. The things he isn't sure whether or not he can hold against Ryo, knowing Ryo is simply who he is.
Isn't love about loving someone for who they are? But where does he draw the line between what Ryo can't give him and won't give him?]
If I do, you know that doesn't mean I don't care about you, right? Tell me you aren't going to think it means I don't care.
[ there's a pained edge to his voice. he already knows the answer going by what this comment is, so it seems kind of cruel to just prolong it. ]
I never thought you would see me that way. There's a reason why I said I don't care if there's a girl, since if I'm honest, I thought you were heterosexual. Especially considering the only times you expressed even a little interest in me was when I looked feminine. And, admittedly, those moments did make me happy.
[ it gave him the smallest flicker of hope, which was stupid. ]
So, it's important to me that you kill that happiness for me right now so that I won't feel it again. You'll still be my best friend. Just say it.
[Wow. Wow, okay. So God is the bad guy, and now he is also going to have to be the bad guy. Like he was the bad guy to Scaramouche. Like he was the bad guy to Lavi. Like he was the bad guy for the humans. When he was the bad guy for Miki when he wasn't fast enough.
Okay. If he has to be the one to blame. Okay.
Slowly, with his head hanging, he unfolds himself off his heels and knees, off the floor and into a stand. He grits his teeth, lifts his head.]
I don't want to be with you that way, Ryo, [he says confidently since he's making a decision for himself now.] But not because you aren't a girl. I don't care about that. I've seen you when you weren't either, when you were both.
It's because I'm human, and you never tried to give me what made me happy. I want to be loved, Ryo. I want to be hugged and touched. I want to be told. I want it without having to ask for it. I thought I could help you change and understand, but nothing I ever say or do reaches you.
Don't say I'm the most important thing to you when that isn't true. The most important thing to you is getting back at God.
[ well. he listens to all of it, and he keep his expression neutral through it. when akira reaches the end, though, there's a brief flash of something on his features before it goes back to his usual thin frown.
ryo doesn't reply, and just lays back down on the ground. closes his eyes like he's ready to sleep. he finally smiles. ]
[It'd have been better if Ryo fought back, got mad. Now he has all of this boiling, angry emotion lodged in his throat, unable to escape. There isn't any outlet to scream or fight, not when it's cut and done. Energy ripples under his skin, itching to be released, but nothing happens on the surface at all.
He stands there and quivers in rage and hurt, wanting to say anything and knowing it won't matter.
So he turns bitterly away and moves somewhere else in the shadows of the planetarium to sit and wait.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
well, none of this information is too surprising. it also makes sense that akira might want to try being a personal demon, even if the idea seems exhausting. ]
Okay. [ he doesn't say what his opinion on that is. just okay. ] Next-- I would like for you to formally reject my confession. We need to get that out of the way before anything else.
no subject
His brows furrow. The conundrum is he's never had any opportunity to try things differently with Ryo. But, also, being here, being around other people more closely, has made him think about... all the things Ryo doesn't give him, the way Ryo treats him. And he thinks about those right now. The things he isn't sure whether or not he can hold against Ryo, knowing Ryo is simply who he is.
Isn't love about loving someone for who they are? But where does he draw the line between what Ryo can't give him and won't give him?]
If I do, you know that doesn't mean I don't care about you, right? Tell me you aren't going to think it means I don't care.
no subject
[ there's a pained edge to his voice. he already knows the answer going by what this comment is, so it seems kind of cruel to just prolong it. ]
I never thought you would see me that way. There's a reason why I said I don't care if there's a girl, since if I'm honest, I thought you were heterosexual. Especially considering the only times you expressed even a little interest in me was when I looked feminine. And, admittedly, those moments did make me happy.
[ it gave him the smallest flicker of hope, which was stupid. ]
So, it's important to me that you kill that happiness for me right now so that I won't feel it again. You'll still be my best friend. Just say it.
no subject
Okay. If he has to be the one to blame. Okay.
Slowly, with his head hanging, he unfolds himself off his heels and knees, off the floor and into a stand. He grits his teeth, lifts his head.]
I don't want to be with you that way, Ryo, [he says confidently since he's making a decision for himself now.] But not because you aren't a girl. I don't care about that. I've seen you when you weren't either, when you were both.
It's because I'm human, and you never tried to give me what made me happy. I want to be loved, Ryo. I want to be hugged and touched. I want to be told. I want it without having to ask for it. I thought I could help you change and understand, but nothing I ever say or do reaches you.
Don't say I'm the most important thing to you when that isn't true. The most important thing to you is getting back at God.
no subject
ryo doesn't reply, and just lays back down on the ground. closes his eyes like he's ready to sleep. he finally smiles. ]
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
no subject
He stands there and quivers in rage and hurt, wanting to say anything and knowing it won't matter.
So he turns bitterly away and moves somewhere else in the shadows of the planetarium to sit and wait.]