[ mm. he shakes his head, taking a bite of his cookie, and after a moment, shifts to sit a little closer to the edge of the dock so he can put his feet over the side and dangle them, kicking lightly. ]
...Even at my lowest, I think helping others has always given me a purpose. There was a time in my life where I couldn't really interact with other people because I was so sick, except my dad. I just had to observe the outside world. [ such a fleeting little statement with a lot of weight, but. he turns his head to give ryo a smile. ] So, maybe I just saved it all up from that? Who knows.
[ well he sure is old! or maybe lu bixing is glad he didn't ask. he seems content just to settle in the silence for the moment, munching on his own cookie.
and at the question...? he tilts his head. ] What do you mean?
he's quiet, for a moment. thinking it over - really thinking it over, and it takes him a little while to answer. ]
... I think that no matter what I've done, it's always been who I am - maybe even when I didn't realize it. Once I left Cayley, I didn't really have much of a purpose in mind, you know? Short of the fact that I wanted to travel all seven other galaxies, and learn about the world outside of the Eighth for myself, and see as many things as I could, but, I ended up rescuing Lin, and from there, everywhere I've gone since, I've always gone to help other people, in whatever way I could.
[ building schools. teaching students. providing hope and thermodynamic power and life to a space station full of miserable refugees. evacuating citizens being attacked by their own government desperate to win the favor of the union. rebuilding the eighth galaxy through a revolution. bit by bit, helping others, in a million ways.
lu bixing leans back a little, looking up at the sky overhead. ] I thought I wanted to be aimless, but in reality, I've had an aim all along. And... I think there was a moment in life where I could've walked a very different path, but I chose not to, and I don't regret that choice.
[ he thinks back to the memory that he saw, and it's a little hard to believe that was only a week ago-- it really feels like the last few days has lasted weeks. ]
I don't think many people would have been able to answer that.
[ it did take lu bixing a bit to be able to, but it does require an understanding about yourself that can be difficult to grasp. ]
he ducks his head a little that, though, reaches up and rubs the back of his neck. ]
Well, I guess my life's a little strange. I've had plenty of time to think about it. And - [ a little more jokingly on himself: ] - I do love to think.
[ he glances fully over at ryo again, after, and kicks his feet, thoughtfully. ] What about you? What do you think about your purpose?
[ he just agrees. absolutely no one is going to argue against that comment, mr. teacher.
ryo's mouth turns a little upwards when the question is brought back to him though. ]
My purpose isn't anything as noble as yours. It would probably be better if I didn't have one, actually. Some people would be much happier if that were the case.
[ he just gives him a little grin at that one like, yeah, you caught me. hehe
the second part has him tilt his head as he munches on his cookie, thoughtful. ]
...mm, but it's your purpose, no? Not theirs. [ so. ] What is it? And - I guess, would you be happier if you didn't? Sort of a one two punch of questions, but.
[ he thinks about the execution today, and how badly scaramouche had tried to fight against his fate. not even against the ultimate outcome of it, but something as simple as how he reached it. and how he failed. ]
My purpose is rather simple. It's just to destroy the world. [ he looks towards the lava. ] It doesn't really matter how happy I feel about it.
that memory share really does feel a long time ago, doesn't it. for a moment, he stops kicking his feet, though... it's more at the last part, than anything else. it doesn't really matter how happy I feel about it. ]
... Mmm. [ he's not going to That's Rough Buddy him because he's not like that, but oof. he's quiet, for a moment. ] ...Think your purpose has any loopholes?
...And you and Akira came from different times, you said. [ god, memory share feels like so long ago. oof.
he's quiet, letting that settle. ]
Well. I can think of a planet or two that doesn't contain life that could use some destroying. There's a great big rock somewhere in the Seventh Galaxy that was used as a prison that I think could be immolated. [ this is a little bit of a joke, just a little lighter, but he shakes his head after a moment, shifting to look over at ryo - more seriously, voice soft, resting his cheek against his own knee as he pulls it up. ]
...When you get out of here. [ not if. ] Do you think maybe Satan himself might find a loophole - that "a new life" could come with "a new purpose"? If... that's something that you want.
[ the idea of just going to fuck up some random planets is actually really funny to him. some people like to decompress by going outside and yelling, others can go to space and destroy a world. it all does the same thing. ]
Who knows? I think Akira is trying for something like that, but what we would probably need both of us to win the contest in order to manage anything close to what we need.
[ sometimes, your situation is overly complicated on the biblical scale. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
...Even at my lowest, I think helping others has always given me a purpose. There was a time in my life where I couldn't really interact with other people because I was so sick, except my dad. I just had to observe the outside world. [ such a fleeting little statement with a lot of weight, but. he turns his head to give ryo a smile. ] So, maybe I just saved it all up from that? Who knows.
no subject
ryo doesn't ask, and just finishes off his cookie silently. once he stops chewing, he finally comments. ]
What do you think of your purpose?
no subject
and at the question...? he tilts his head. ] What do you mean?
no subject
[ he doesn't specify further. ]
no subject
he's quiet, for a moment. thinking it over - really thinking it over, and it takes him a little while to answer. ]
... I think that no matter what I've done, it's always been who I am - maybe even when I didn't realize it. Once I left Cayley, I didn't really have much of a purpose in mind, you know? Short of the fact that I wanted to travel all seven other galaxies, and learn about the world outside of the Eighth for myself, and see as many things as I could, but, I ended up rescuing Lin, and from there, everywhere I've gone since, I've always gone to help other people, in whatever way I could.
[ building schools. teaching students. providing hope and thermodynamic power and life to a space station full of miserable refugees. evacuating citizens being attacked by their own government desperate to win the favor of the union. rebuilding the eighth galaxy through a revolution. bit by bit, helping others, in a million ways.
lu bixing leans back a little, looking up at the sky overhead. ] I thought I wanted to be aimless, but in reality, I've had an aim all along. And... I think there was a moment in life where I could've walked a very different path, but I chose not to, and I don't regret that choice.
Does that answer your question?
no subject
[ he thinks back to the memory that he saw, and it's a little hard to believe that was only a week ago-- it really feels like the last few days has lasted weeks. ]
I don't think many people would have been able to answer that.
[ it did take lu bixing a bit to be able to, but it does require an understanding about yourself that can be difficult to grasp. ]
no subject
he ducks his head a little that, though, reaches up and rubs the back of his neck. ]
Well, I guess my life's a little strange. I've had plenty of time to think about it. And - [ a little more jokingly on himself: ] - I do love to think.
[ he glances fully over at ryo again, after, and kicks his feet, thoughtfully. ] What about you? What do you think about your purpose?
no subject
[ he just agrees. absolutely no one is going to argue against that comment, mr. teacher.
ryo's mouth turns a little upwards when the question is brought back to him though. ]
My purpose isn't anything as noble as yours. It would probably be better if I didn't have one, actually. Some people would be much happier if that were the case.
no subject
the second part has him tilt his head as he munches on his cookie, thoughtful. ]
...mm, but it's your purpose, no? Not theirs. [ so. ] What is it? And - I guess, would you be happier if you didn't? Sort of a one two punch of questions, but.
no subject
My purpose is rather simple. It's just to destroy the world. [ he looks towards the lava. ] It doesn't really matter how happy I feel about it.
no subject
that memory share really does feel a long time ago, doesn't it. for a moment, he stops kicking his feet, though... it's more at the last part, than anything else. it doesn't really matter how happy I feel about it. ]
... Mmm. [ he's not going to That's Rough Buddy him because he's not like that, but oof. he's quiet, for a moment. ] ...Think your purpose has any loopholes?
no subject
the familiar amused expression is back on his face at the question though. ]
No. I'm learning that's not the case.
no subject
...And you and Akira came from different times, you said. [ god, memory share feels like so long ago. oof.
he's quiet, letting that settle. ]
Well. I can think of a planet or two that doesn't contain life that could use some destroying. There's a great big rock somewhere in the Seventh Galaxy that was used as a prison that I think could be immolated. [ this is a little bit of a joke, just a little lighter, but he shakes his head after a moment, shifting to look over at ryo - more seriously, voice soft, resting his cheek against his own knee as he pulls it up. ]
...When you get out of here. [ not if. ] Do you think maybe Satan himself might find a loophole - that "a new life" could come with "a new purpose"? If... that's something that you want.
no subject
Who knows? I think Akira is trying for something like that, but what we would probably need both of us to win the contest in order to manage anything close to what we need.
[ sometimes, your situation is overly complicated on the biblical scale. ]