[ akira would be a little too tense around him. even when they normally fought back then, their body language would still be normal with each other afterwards. so it stood out, when it no longer wasn't. ]
But now I know you do actually want to be friends.
It dawns on him that these feelings... aren't his? These feelings are coming from somewhere else, and he very quickly realizes the drink he thought was innocuous and not bad to have turned out to be.......... terrible. He thinks about all the things he had been feeling since running into Ryo, and his stomach drops. NO.
[Incredibly healthy behavior. The mood of his feelings really nose-dives despite it being confidence week.]
I don't ever know if you don't say it.
[Ryo always did a lot with him, but he never saw any real outward joy. He knows... he knows those are in Ryo. He knows. And when he asked Ryo where it felt. But he's rarely seen them. And now it's glaringly noticeable when he's surrounded by other people who show it.]
[He tries to wade through the frustration internally, to maybe guess what it's for. It can't be him, right? It couldn't be...?]
I know. [The feelings in him are also momentarily dim, weighted, but a bit of something lighter tries to brush back. Hopeful almost.] But you're still my friend.
[Hmmmmmmmmm. Interesting. This brings him some amusement actually. Like teasing.]
You're my best friend, and we've always been best friends. [They were frienemies once, but ignore that.] We used to play together all the time. When it would snow, we'd sled down the hill. We'd look at the sun together, too. Do you remember the eclipse?
We'd go to the onsen together, the one with the capybaras.
[ this is so funny. not for ryo who is getting confused but also his feelings are just getting increasingly warmer and more content the more akira talks about this. ]
Of course I remember all that. I was there for it, you know...
[ he sounds less sure though, mostly because he is not quite sure what akira is doing here. he is too distracted by being homosexual for the time being. ]
[Hm. So it's true... that Ryo doesn't show it, but he could somehow usually tell regardless. It's nice to hear, though, he thinks. Why is he a words of affirmation boy. A physical affection boy.]
I know. [Ryo is becoming so gay here listening to him talk about them.] I was just saying, we were always together before you left.
just eats another chicken tender so he does not have to add more to this conversation. he's still busy being pleased by all reminders of their beautiful childhood that he has an unhealthy attachment to. ]
[ that makes him freeze, and then he slowly finishes off his tendy. the feeling coming off of him is uncertain, confused, and something that's a little dark and difficult to discern. ryo isn't even sure what it is. ]
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Can you react less dramatically?!
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No? You just admitted you were jealous! Why...? Because I think they're my friend? You know you're my friend, too. Can't I have other friends?
[CONFIDENCE WEEK IS HELL.]
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[ he's going to eat some chimkin on his own without prompting from akira. ]
But it's fine now.
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Watches Ryo eat chimkin without him…]
“It’s fine now”?
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[ (narrator voice) he is jealous again after the party ]
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ryo: does not put in effort
also ryo: how dare you have fun with other people not me ]
I know, but… what changed? You just got over it? Why are you even jealous? Didn’t we say we were friends?
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I guess now I'm a little more... sure of it. Us. What we are.
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I was... [The feelings tangle again, but not in the same way.] It's... complicated. It was complicated, Ryo.
I know it wasn't you, but there were things... I had to think about first. So I had to pretend because... you didn't know what I did.
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[ akira would be a little too tense around him. even when they normally fought back then, their body language would still be normal with each other afterwards. so it stood out, when it no longer wasn't. ]
But now I know you do actually want to be friends.
[ this is disgusting but
the feeling is just happy at that. very happy. ]
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It dawns on him that these feelings... aren't his? These feelings are coming from somewhere else, and he very quickly realizes the drink he thought was innocuous and not bad to have turned out to be.......... terrible. He thinks about all the things he had been feeling since running into Ryo, and his stomach drops. NO.
HIS FEELINGS.] I do, [he murmurs.]
You're... happy.
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ryo shrugs. ]
Why do you sound so surprised?
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Because... you never...
[He trails off. Ryo does not see why he got so fed up at the party later. But this is why.]
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they're both just radiating confusion then, i guess, because ryo is also going ??? ]
I don't see why I have to say it.
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I don't ever know if you don't say it.
[Ryo always did a lot with him, but he never saw any real outward joy. He knows... he knows those are in Ryo. He knows. And when he asked Ryo where it felt. But he's rarely seen them. And now it's glaringly noticeable when he's surrounded by other people who show it.]
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there's frustration, although it's hard to tell exactly who or what it's being directed at. the feeling of happiness dims slowly. ]
This is just how I am.
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I know. [The feelings in him are also momentarily dim, weighted, but a bit of something lighter tries to brush back. Hopeful almost.] But you're still my friend.
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okay the feeling of happiness goes up again as soon as akira says they're friends. it is a little funny how easy this is. ]
Well. You're also my friend.
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He tries to test something then.]
You're my best friend.
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outwardly, though, his expression is still just neutral. ]
Yes...?
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You're my best friend, and we've always been best friends. [They were frienemies once, but ignore that.] We used to play together all the time. When it would snow, we'd sled down the hill. We'd look at the sun together, too. Do you remember the eclipse?
We'd go to the onsen together, the one with the capybaras.
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Of course I remember all that. I was there for it, you know...
[ he sounds less sure though, mostly because he is not quite sure what akira is doing here. he is too distracted by being homosexual for the time being. ]
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I know. [Ryo is becoming so gay here listening to him talk about them.] I was just saying, we were always together before you left.
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[
just eats another chicken tender so he does not have to add more to this conversation. he's still busy being pleased by all reminders of their beautiful childhood that he has an unhealthy attachment to. ]
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He just thinks it's a little endearing? His buddy can feel things........]
...I knew you were crying too.
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I don't think so.
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